Today I am exhausted. Totally and utterly. I’m sure I have worse yet to come and I have no idea what sleepless nights with a baby are like, but right now, this evening, I feel shattered.
Today was my first day back at school after Christmas. I only work three days a week in school but it always feels as though I cram a full five day week into those days so it’s still pretty hard work. And on a Wednesday, I get up at 5am to drive here – then stay in a school flat on Wednesday and Thursday nights and drive back home after school on Friday.
But I counted today that I only have 10 more Wednesday morning ‘get-ups’ until I go on maternity leave. Which is crazy.
It’s been a rocky end to the holiday. We were supposed to be completing on our new house last week and moving in at the weekend. Due to some professional cock ups we didn’t. But we’re still aiming for next weekend – which, being in the middle of term time, when I spend most of my weekends private tutoring, is far from ideal…but I’m desperate to be in!
Additionally, on Saturday I had my first real pregnancy related scare. Mark gave me some beautiful long leather boots for Christmas and after a tutoring session on Saturday, I put them on and noticed one was much tighter than the other. I thought it was odd as it definitely hadn’t been before. I got home, felt again, and found the same thing. Just out of interest, I got a tape measure out and measured both of my calves. My left one was over a centimetre bigger than the right.
Normally I would just ignore this and see if it went away, but I had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind, and I remembered my midwife giving me a leaflet on the increased chance of blood clots in pregnancy. I ummed and ahhed and consulted google – never a good idea, as that would have had me believing that I definitely had DVT. In the end, I rang NHS direct, who were great and asked me dozens of questions. Answering them made me think that probably it was nothing, as I said no to nearly everything they asked. But as I am pregnant and one leg was swollen, they wanted me to see an out of hours GP to have it checked out.
That meant that at 9.30 on a Saturday evening, when my poor boyfriend was supposed to be out having a drink with his best friend, we were sitting in the waiting room at the hospital, wondering whether or not I had a blood clot. This and the added alarm of the woman who marched out of the doctor’s room and her friend said ‘So you’re in quarrantine then?’ and she replied – ‘No – I’m not in quarrantine – only if someone’s pregnant!’ I felt myself shrink into my coat, clutching my little bump protectively. I kept well away!
To cut a long story short, the doctor prodded and poked my legs, measured them (having had my feet up all evening the difference in measurements had gone down a lot) and took my blood pressure. All seemed fine, and I’m pretty sure he thought I was a hyperchondriac. I’m really not. But this pregnancy thing makes little worries into big worries, as it’s not just my health to think about.
Also this week – I attended my first Lazy Daisy birthing class. I’ll do a proper post about it another time, but I really really loved it and would recommend it to anyone. It’s a mixture of hypnobirthing techniques and yoga, with some movement repetition and deep relaxation. It was so informative as well – I learnt things about labour and the experience of giving birth that I had never considered and we were given techniques on how to prepare our bodies for labour through stretching. It feels a bit early to be doing it, but they recommend starting early as your body will naturally perform the movements and slip into the relaxed state more easily.
I’ve also been doing my pregnancy exercise DVDs and will do reviews of those too. I have done one of them more than the others, as it’s a quicker workout, although I’ve brought a 10 minute solutions pregnancy pilates dvd with me to school, so I might have a go at one of those in a minute and see if it gives me a little more energy.
And at 23+3 weeks, I finally told the kids at school about my pregnancy. The sixth formers were pretty indifferent, although one of the girls stayed behind to congratulate me afterwards, and the year 7s and 8s were wildly excitied, demanding to know lots of details and quickly asking if I would name the baby after them. It was very sweet.
But this is why I had to tell the children – this is me in my school outfit today – eek!
Excuse the slippers – it’s been a long day!