I have been dying to start this blog for weeks. I looked into ways of keeping it private until the first scan and only publishing it when I knew everything was ok, but deep down I’m embarrassingly suspicious and couldn’t help thinking I’d be jinxing things somehow if I started writing.
My main reason for being so careful is that I couldn’t quite believe it myself! The number of times that I’ve studied the picture I took of one of my positive pregnancy tests, making sure I hadn’t read it wrong, is ridiculous. If it wasn’t for that test (and the lack of a period for a few months), I swear I wouldn’t know I was pregnant.
I am fully aware that this makes me incredibly lucky – no morning sickness, no fatigue, no nothing! However, before the scan, it also made me very nervous. I was convinced I’d made the whole thing up – or that the baby would be there but would have stopped growing weeks ago. This has happened recently to a couple of friends and was therefore all I could think about in the days before the scan.
In fact, since finding out at 5 weeks (which according to the scan turned out to be 6 weeks) time has slowed down almost to a standstill. I’m a teacher and everyone at work has been commenting on how fast the first half of term flew by. For me, it really really didn’t. It’s been an agonising wait, but seeing the baby at the 12 (actually 13) week scan, jumping up and down with its arms above its head, made the whole thing seem totally worthwhile.
You’ll notice from the scan picture that the baby is upside down – the sonographer dug around on my belly trying to make it flip over, but the stubborn little thing refused. Unfortunately, I had drunk so much water beforehand (you’re told to!) that I genuinely thought I might wet myself when she was poking and prodding.
So now the really fun bit starts – telling everyone and starting to imagine our life with another small person in it. We had hardly dared to believe it before now – so much so that I always talked about the baby hypothetically. It’s funny – before the scan, when I told the few people who needed to know, I always phrased it ‘I’m pregnant’; since Tuesday, I’ve been saying ‘we’re having a baby’… as it was most definitely a little baby we saw bouncing around on the screen.